Hailee Gibson - ... every seed I've received I will sow!

Swazi Pictures

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

a little glimpse into my time in swaziland .... these pictures dont do it justice, there are stories to come with each face when i return!

i LOVE swaziland

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I really feel at a loss for words of how to describe my time in Swaziland. I have never experienced a place before that I feel as though my words are nowhere near enough. My pictures hopefully gave you a small visual glimpse into my time there, but without the story behind each face, I feel like I am failing miserably at expressing my time in this amazing country.

As I was hearing the stories behind the faces and being able to try to feel what their heart was feeling, I was taken back. As I heard many of the statistics about Swaziland before going there, I was prepared for situations full of death and depression. Rather, I found the opposite. I experienced so much life and joy in this country. I witnessed life in Christ and His purposes for these people that are predicted to death from the rest of the world. These people may have been written off by the rest of the world due to the staggering statistics, but they have not been forgotten by their Heavenly Father. I have never seen such pure simplicity and contentment. In the midst of death, starvation, and poverty these people are still seeking after the Lord and trusting in His plan and purpose for this country and these people.

Oh if only more of North America could experience this. Would we still complain about the little things we so often do? Would we be wasting as much food as we do? Would we put to better use our many blessings?

As I heard the people of Swaziland talk about how they think God's blessing is all over Western culture and God's judgment and wrath is all over Africa, my heart literally broke. I spoke life into these lies as much as I could. It's sad to hear from many of the nonbelievers, that they believe their life is meaningless and short. If only they could see the heart of their Father. Their Father has an important purpose for them in this world. This is the first time I've felt like I wanted to pour out every little ounce inside of me. I was completely exhausted, but I wanted to give more. God truly touched my heart in such a deep way for these people. All the little cares I used to have were so far from my mind. I was focused on loving these people and building a relationship with them in any way I could.

So I'm left with the thought of, "Ok Lord, now what?" I've seen such a great need. I've poured out as much as my heart and soul as I could, but I still feel so helpless. It's simple, they need help. Many in Western culture are not called to go, God has plans and purposes for them in that culture, and we need to praise and bless those works. However, we as believers are called to tend and care for others.

"For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more" Luke 12:48b. That verse scares me. I feel so unbelievably blessed by God, but for most of my life I was keeping it all to myself. So whether you are called to go and touch these people, or whether you are called to just support those who are going and doing, we are all still required to give of ourselves.

God is moving and working in MIGHTY ways all around the world. Life is passing us by, don't sit complacently waiting and watching. Step up, get involved, be God's hands and feet to this world. Being a missionary is EVERYWHERE you are. There are ministries all around you, how are you advancing the Kingdom?? Support the work of the Lord all around the globe. It's so hard for native missionaries around the world to get support, so we need to share their stories. Pour out our blessings onto them, so that they can be an even greater blessing to those they are reaching out to.

There are brothers and sisters all over the world being adopted into the Kingdom and helping to advance it, don't you want to be a part of this?

Ezindwendweni, Swaziland

Mon, 9 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I just want to update you all of what is going on in Swaziland since I arrived.

To be completely honest, the initial thought of living in the bush in the middle of Africa was FAR FAR FAR from appealing. We were able to spend two days where two of the teams were living in Nsoko and fell in love with the kids, so leaving was very hard. When we arrived in Ezindwendweni we were told that we were the first team to ever live there. The previous groups only went out for a day at a time. Initially it was hard as people were very stand-offish and avoided us. However, it was amazing to see how much people opened up and started coming to see us and talk with us when they saw that we were living in their village. At our children's program this week we had 70 children come as well as 20 youth hanging out. The children get fed at school during the week, but not on the weekends, so on Saturday we cooked a huge pot of rice and beans to feed any children walking by. I think this was one of our favourite things that we did this past week. We went to the schools each day to try to get in and talk with the students at both the primary and secondary schools. We have been doing home visits and praying for as many people as we can.

Living in Ezindwendweni has been difficult. We are without electricity or running water, so this has been an adjustment for all of us. Also, all of the lovely bugs have been something to get used to. On our first day we found a scorpion! The simplicity of the life there has been an amazing lesson for all of us.

Please pray for the ministry in Ezindwendweni. The pastor there is waiting for money to finish building his home, so that he can move in beside the church. As of now his home is a 1.5 hour walk away. We are hoping to help him with this as much as we can. The Lord is moving in this village! People know and believe in God, but it is our prayer that they come to have a relationship with their Father.

Pictures!!!

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Pictures from Turkey & Israel! Enjoy :)

Distractions!!

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Why is it so easy to start focusing on all these "characteristics" that should be radiating from our lives as Christians and miss the whole point of what we are supposed to be living for?? Satan is much smoother than I think many people care to acknowledge. He knows we aren't going to fall for the "typical" worldly traps, and so he resorts to disguising himself in "holy, righteous" ways that we think we ought to be living. Our society is so bogged down with terminology, and actions that should come forth from a believer's life. These in and of themselves are not bad, but they can so easily take our gaze off of what is truly important, the Cross of Christ. The pressure that can come from an atmosphere like this can cause someone to question so much and totally forget why we are doing this in the first place.

I felt this pressure so many times since leaving in June, and for a while, I truly did feel that if wasn't living up to my potential as God's daughter. Thankfully, God has grabbed hold of my heart again. He reminded me of what is preached over and over again in the gospels, and that is simply to LOVE GOD and to LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR HIM. All the other stuff will come as a product of that. So I am shrugging off this pressure I have felt from so many around me and running towards Jesus. I am falling more in love with God for WHO He is, not for WHAT He can give me.

"But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course andthe ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."

ACTS 20:24

PS. You can now comment on my blogs and/or email me!

Pictures!

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Here are pictures from my two months in Romania ... Sorry i wasnt able to post this earlier. I hope you enjoy!

Update, Changes and More Changes

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We just finished our debrief. It was a great time of being encouraged and having fellowship with other squads. There were about 220 people here between the 4 squads, alumni, and staff. It was a great time for our squad to be more focused on God and just truly hearing what He has for us for the remainder of the year, or at least the next couple months.

Surprise, surprise, we had yet again another team change, I don't have a picture, but my team is now consisting of: Tara Reed, Heather Duke, Ashley Haub, Damaris Contreras, Scottie Langston, and AJ Peters. Please be praying for us, as we build relationships with each other and push each other closer to becoming the people God intended us to be.

I just wanted to give you all a quick update. We are leaving tomorrow for TURKEY! We had a change of plans and we will be going to help in Turkey for 10 days and then going on to Israel. I am not sure of what it all entails, but it will be helping with the flooding that just happened and already existing ministries. We are postponing our entry into Israel due to a country wide holiday that will stop our ability to minister there. Since these are both CLOSED countries, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT comment on my blogs or email me AT ALL. I will try to post coded blogs or emails if I can, but I will post again when I am into Africa. Please be praying for us, for protection, for open doors, for conversations, and ultimately that we follow the leading of God.

Thank you all for your continual prayer, support, and encouragement!

At a Loss For Words

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am having the hardest time collecting all of my thoughts of what is going on in my heart and my mind. This month has been filled with many ups and many downs. God has revealed so many things to me. I feel almost at a loss for words.

God has been teaching me to "let my words be few." So I will try to summarize as briefly as possible. My new team is filled with many strong personalities and talkers. As I have been placed in this situation, God has been teaching me to limit my words and truly weigh my words before I speak. This is a constant battle for me. As I learn to put my thoughts and opinions aside and to just completely listen to another's without adding in my two cents.

Also, God has been really laying on my heart the need to truly, intimately, and personally understand what it means to have the fear of the Lord. I yearn to not just comprehend this concept in my head, but for it to truly touch my heart. As I prayed for God to teach me this, I was completely scared to death, because I know for me to learn this I am going to be placed into situations to practice this. God is so good, and amazingly has placed the same desire on one of my teammate's hearts. So Tara and I are stepping out and going through this tough journey together.

Team in.tent.city

Wed, 9 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Just when we think the change is over, God changes things up again. I am recovering from my control addictions, and God has not ceased to place me in situations where I have absolutely zero control, and the only thing I can rest in is Him. When I stop and think about it, I get almost frustrated with myself for even trying to do things my way. I should instead feel honoured that the King of the universe cares about every little detail about me. He is jealous for me. God is showing me that I don't dream big enough, I don't push things to the limits. I often settle for things that are much less than what He intended for me. As I am put into situations to continually learn to release control and trust solely in my Father, I can't help but have a sense of deep rest. I know that everything is going to be taken care of, and I just have to following His leading.

We found out Monday, that our team was once again changing slightly. So here is my new team that is named "in.tent.city" (intensity). We are calling ourselves this, because it is our vision to go deeper with God, in our relationship with Him, in our gifting, in understanding truth, and in community.

Please be praying for us as we build relationships with one another and learn to trust each other. We know God has placed each of us together and are very excited to see what He has in store for us individually and as a team.

Meet Team in.tent.city:

Damaris, Heather, Tara, Will, Ashley (warren not in)

Heather, Tara, Warren, Will, Damaris, Ashley

Team in.tent.city

Day 100!

Tue, 8 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I just wanted to give you all the opportunity to join with us in celebrating Day 100 on the World Race!!

I have lots to update you on, I will post a detailed blog asap!!

love you all ... thanks so much for all of your support, encouragement, and prayers :)

Below are some pictures from the first month in Romania .. more to come!

A New Beginning

Thu, 3 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

God seems to move in ways that we often don't understand. His ways are so much bigger than us. His plans sometimes don't make sense. He is sovereign. Through it all He alone is trustworthy, He alone is in complete and utter control no matter how messy the situation looks.

This is something we have all just learned in a very real way, especially on my team. We just found out that our team is being dispersed into the other four teams. Scottie has been placed on Abandon, Kaleb onto Neon, Leigh onto Agape8, Damaris and myself onto Fuego, and Hannah is still seeking God for direction.

As much as I am crushed about changing teams, I know the bonds we have created are so much stronger than this situation. I know that this is all God's plan. I know that God wants to take me deeper and push me to greater areas in my relationship with Him. God has given me a peace about this transition. I love every single one of my Azariah team members, but I also know that the members of Fuego will challenge me spiritually in ways I desperately need.

Meet my new team, Fuego:

Warren, Taylor, Ashley, Tiffany, Heather, Tara .... and now adding Damaris and Myself.

I have had this song on my mind since yesterday...

He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name!

Azariah I will ALWAYS love you ... Fuego I am excited to see what God has in store

Are You Like Ephesus?

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I know for much of my life so far studying the scriptures was never something that was a desire in my heart. I would start making it a routine, out of a sense of duty and obligation. Evidently, this would fade after a few days, or maybe weeks.
It's not until we have a true love relationship with Christ that we desire to search and learn His word. It is my prayer that my hunger for His word continues to increase and is never satisfied. With this increase in knowledge, comes a sense of despair for myself and for many Christians alike.
It has been my aim to try to get a better grasp of Revelation for almost a year now. I can never seem to study this book enough, and new things are always opened up to me. It's a book full of mystery and wonder. Part of me longs to fully grasp it, but part is content with this sense of unknown. My heart has been troubled by the warnings sent to the churches, in particular the letter to Ephesus.

Revelation 2:1-5:

"To the angel of the church of Ephesus write...I know your works,
Your labour, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil.
And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not,
And have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience,
and have laboured for My name's sake and have not become weary.
Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works,
or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place - unless you repent."

I don't know about you, but for me these verses have been ringing in my heart. I think we have made living our life for Christ too complex. Don't take me the wrong way. I don't think it's going to be easy. I know it's going to be probably the hardest thing I do, and I am going to grow tired and weary. I think that most of us have just missed the whole point. It's about a love relationship with God; a relationship of child to Father. So let us come back to the central issue, to be madly in love with Jesus, our Creator, King, and Daddy! From that love will flow the things He desires; love, patience, perseverance, etc. Let's shift our focus from what we are called to do and be from the scriptures and rest in falling back in love with Jesus Christ and everything else from there will fall into place.

Verbal Vomit!

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

God has been teaching me lately about my words. I know what you are thinking, "I know my tongue is like a double edged sword" or "Yes, I need to learn to tame my tongue." As much as those types of statements are completely true and biblical, it really doesn't address the true heart of the matter. I know that my words have power and that I most definitely am not quick to listen and slow to speak, and so for many years I just allowed this concept to stay in the back of my mind. As God has been walking me through so many things in my life that displease Him, this one has been the central theme this month, and I have a feeling for a few more months if not for the rest of the trip, or quite possibly my life!

Ultimately it comes down to our hearts. Look at Matthew 12:34:

"Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things?

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."

Or how about Ephesians 4:29-32:

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,

But what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

just as God in Christ also forgave you."

So it all comes down to changing my heart. It must start with seeing me and every other believer has God's Temple! Since we are all tabernacles with the Holy Spirit indwelling us, we must treat each other in this respect. How can we think, or talk to one of God's children the way we so often do, and then think that we can approach God. Let's just take this to an earthly perspective. For those of you who are parents, or even for those of us who aren't parents, I'm sure you can place yourself into this situation. Think about how you would respond, act, feel, or what you would say to someone who disrespected your child through their thoughts, actions, or words. Could they come to you after and still be friends with you? I don't think so. Why do we do this to God's children?

Here is a challenge for all of us:

Colossians 4:6

"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one."

I'm realising how much I need to stop feeling so much need to have my input, and instead treat everyone as God's holy temple. Let's be a generation that tangibly shows God's love to others through the way we think, act, and speak. I pray that God searches my heart, and continue to purify my heart. I know it is so full of evil motives, but I also know that my King is more than able to take my jumbled motives and turn them into His glory!

Pictures!!!!!

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Finally pictures from my first two months in Latin America!

A Shift in Priorities

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I have been feeling pressure lately from many people's influence about what my focus in life should be. I was struggling with how to process all of this information they have been putting on my heart and mind. For those of you who know me well, you all know that I can't stand being told what to think or believe. So I have been weeding through this and seeking God's face and voice on this topic. The other day I had a great peace about this from God. Whether people in my life realise it or not, they made me feel that I wasn't walking where I should be, but God put my spirit to rest. He reminded me that all that matters is my heart in all of this. As He spoke this into my heart, I shook my head at how complex I tried to make all of this. I knew this fact, but doesn't it always seem like the simple things are the first to slip our minds. God made me think of my own relationship with my earthly father. As much as this relationship can't even compare to the relationship I have with God, it's what I can relate to. God was asking me what I do to grow closer to my dad. It's simple. I spend time with him. Not expecting him to give me anything, but just seeking to learn more about his heart and for us to share memories and moments together.

That is all God seeks from me. He wants me to just spend time in His presence, listening to Him, sharing my heart with Him, and reading His word. People put too much pressure on what God will give them or what should be coming out of their life because of knowing Him. Having our focus on that is taking away from what God has solely asked from us. He just wants us to love on Him. Once we can only focus on loving Him and being swept away by His majesty, then there will be a ripple effect in our lives. We will have the fruits of the spirit, spiritual gifts, and love for others flow from this source, but these things should not be our focus. "Our love for Him always comes out of His love for us. Do you love this God who is everything, or do you just love everything He gives you?" (Francis Chan).

Why do we make this relationship so complex? It is my prayer for God to simplify my view of what a relationship with Him looks like. Why are so many people's focuses or concerns on having spiritual gifts? Or having the fruits of the spirit? These flow from just being in love with our Creator. Our priorities are not in balance.

There are verses that should evoke us into a deep desire for our hearts to be right with God.

"Inasmuch as these people draw near to Me with their mouths and honour Me with their lips, but have removed their hearts far from Me." Isaiah 29:13

"Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him." 1 John 2:3-5

"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "You shall love your neighbour as yourself"." Galatians 5:14

"The love for equals is a human thing - of a friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles. The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing - the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world. The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing - to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints. And then there is the love for the enemy - love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain. The tortured's love for the torturer. This is God's love. It conquers the world." Frederick Buchner

So take a deep breath. Relax. It's not about all these "things" that we have been told by spiritual leaders. All that matters is a deep, insane, intimate love relationship with your Maker. God longs to show you this kind of love, all we need to do is ask!

"The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time" Francis Chan

Amor, Love, Rak kaa

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

So to be quite honest, I am struggling still off and on with why God brought me on this trip. I think the ministry is definitely helpful to the people and that there is an impact, but I was questioning the impact I am making. I would name off a list of things I think I would be much more "helpful" in. God has continually laid it on my heart that this isn't what it's all about. It has been two months of reminding me that it is NOT about what I am doing, but about my heart in what I am doing. I praise God that He is looking at my heart alone. I have been challenged by God this month about my love for my teammates and the people all around me. The real evidence of God's work in me is not my claimed love for Him, but my observable love for HIS people! I am so tested by Romans 2:1, "Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things." So in essence the very things that irritate me about the people around me are the things that disgust God in my own life. OUCH! So when I identify the things in other people's lives I don't like I need to stop and pray because those are the very things God is asking me to bring into the light in my life.

Working at the orphanage this month has been such a blessing. We have been mainly doing construction during the days, but have been able to hang out with the kids at night. Despite language barriers, being able to connect in any way possible with these kids has been incredible. There are about 12 kids ranging from age 1-17. They all have families, but they have given them up because their families either didn't want to have them, or just couldn't care for them. It breaks my heart to think that someone could possibly give up any one of these kids. My hope and prayer is that these kids feel the love of God through us even though most of us speak minimal Spanish. I praise God sending us to Ometepe. I pray that His light will shine into the utmost parts of this island and that the local Christians will rise up and share His love.

Safely On Ometepe Island, Nicaragua

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

First of all, I would like to apologise for the lack of communication from my end. Our transition from Guatemala to Nicaragua has taken much longer than planned due to the coup in Honduras!

We arrived into Nicaragua on Thursday July 9^th. On Friday we took the ferry across to Ometepe, the island we are ministering on for the remainder of the month. Our internet access is VERY limited, so I will not have consistent communication for the rest of the month.

Please be praying for the people of Ometepe. It is uncommon for the people to ever be able to move off the island. There are deep roots of depression and addiction in the people here. We are working at an orphanage on the island. Currently we are helping lay a cement walkway, ministering to the children and youth, helping cook meals, and cleaning up the grounds. We are also hoping to do some street evangelism in one of two main cities on the island called Moyogalpa. Please be praying for open minds and hearts.

God has been speaking to me lately about Him consuming my whole being. This must start with my character conforming more to His image. I don't think those words really have the weight of what they truly mean. I must start losing my identity as "Hailee" and instead be only identified with Christ. Once my character is identified with Christ and Him alone, God can then start to reveal truth to me. God must be my only focus. I want to be able to truly say that God is the only one that matters in the entire world.

"O God, You are my God; Earnestly I seek you;

My soul thirsts for you; My flesh faints for you,

As in a dry & weary land where there is no water.

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

Beholding your power and glory.

Because your steadfast love is better than life,

My lips will praise you."

PSALM 63:1-3

"Whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

PSALM 73:25-26

Also I am continually learning what it actually means to give up my "rights." We as humans are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is - Never look for justice, but never cease to give it. I am learning to hold myself to a higher standard, but never expect the same from others. In fact to have no expectation of other's performance. I am striving for my mind set to be doing everything for God's glory. This seems like such a simple statement, but to truly live it out is to denying every ounce of my fleshy instinct.

Ministry Update

Mon, 6 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Here is a quick update!

Well we are finally leaving for NICARAGUA!! We found out that we will be going to Ometepe. It is an island within Nicaragua Lake. We will be doing street evangelism for the first week, and then we will be working at an orphanage for the last two weeks.

Please be praying for safe travels and that we are able to find a place to stay while we are doing street evangelism!

Our time in Antigua has been great. Another squad was in Antigua having their debrief week, so we were able to sit in on some of their sessions and worship time. Also we were able to go to a special needs hospital to love on the kids and help feed during dinner.

I will update you all again when I arrive in Ometepe. We are leaving tomorrow (Tuesday) and it's a two day trip down to Nicaragua. I will be arriving into Ometepe most likely on Thursday.

I Can't, But He Can

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

My Journal from Wednesday, June 24^th:

I never really thought about God completely in the way of being my daddy. As I have been struggling with earthly relationships & trying to understand why God has me on this trip, I failed to remember something crucial. My earthly dad is grieved when I'm hurting and would much rather suffer in my place, but knows I must go through this to become the woman I am destined to be.

God is all about tough love. It's not that He enjoys watching me hurting & struggling, but He sees the end in the means. I see only single tiles, He sees the mosaic. I can't quite comprehend this love & I'm content with never fully being able to process it all.

Many times I'm confused by the circumstances I'm in. I can't seem to see my God in any of it. I can't feel His presence, I don't see His hand, but I must stand firm in His promises & I must trust His heart.

I am learning to be thankful for touch circumstances. I want to boldly walk through the refiner's fire, knowing I am always in God's hands.

God wants to increase the depth I'm at with Him continually.

Pain will come ... Tears will fall ... My heart will break ... I will grow weary ... BUT my God has OVERCOME!

Christ shares in my suffering!

Shaking Things Up!

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Please be praying for the people of Camotan. On Wednesday we went into the town and the Lord led us to a side street filled with Mayan Natives. They were there waiting for money hand outs from the government. As we walked through I have never felt such hatred and fear. It was very evident that we were not welcomed, but that did not discourage us. We broke off into pairs and walked through and prayed for people. As we sat and said hello to people, we had a couple men come and talk with us. The women felt very threatened by our presence, but we were thankful for the opportunity to plant seeds into the hearts of the men. The people could tell that we were different from other North Americans they had met.

After we returned from lunch we heard there was news of 15 children being kidnapped from two neighbouring villages. We are still unsure if this is a rumour or truth, but regardless of that fact, our group is being blamed for these kidnappings. We were told we were on lock down to the compound because the people of this area tend to be violent in these situations. They were arresting anyone that they didn't know in town. Also we were warned that it wouldn't be abnormal for them to come and try to stone us or burn us. As of today, Friday, we are allowed to go into town during the afternoons if we are in bigger groups of people. God has protected us.

I know the attack isn't personal, but that it's the power of darkness going against the power of God. I praise God that He is shaking things up in Camotan. I am thankful that the spirits of darkness are afraid of the light being shined here. It is my cry that God continues to chase after these people. I pray that He continues to pursue their hearts, minds, and souls. I long to see God alone be exalted in this town!

Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world...we are of God.

1st John 4:4&6

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities,

against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual

hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Ephesians 6:12

Resting in His Hands

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

An update about things that are going on: People's health is improving, but is still not back to normal. Also many people have been experiencing bad dreams. So please continue to pray for us and the spiritual warfare going on here!

I want to share a bit about what God has been teaching me. This week I felt pretty discouraged as I realised how tough these relationships are going to be this year. To be quite honest, I was definitely asking God why. I felt like I've had my fair share of tough relationships in the past and really just wanted to chill out for a while. Obviously God loves me too much to just let me coast through this year. God has been challenging me to do a few things:

1. To just focus on my relationship with Him and if that happens every other relationship in my life will work out.

2. To give up complete control to Him every second. I am a control freak. I am learning that it's okay for me not to worry about every situation.

3. To give up my right to be right. I am learning to apologise when I don't feel like I'm in the wrong. I am learning to see that if something bothers me it's probably because of an issue in my own life that I need to deal with.

Ultimately I'm learning what God's love looks like!

Bring It On Satan!!

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Written Monday:

I think yesterday surprised us all. We were all exhausted because we haven't had a day off since we got to Guatemala. We attended a nearby church on a mountain for the morning service. The Guatemalan couple that is cooking our meals this month attend the church and took our group up. After lunch we immediately left for our second church service that was on top of a mountain. Traveling here is never relaxing as we are standing in the back of a pick-up truck grasping on to whatever we can. The ride up the mountain took an hour, so you can imagine how tired we were after arriving. One of our teammates was preaching at the services yesterday. We had all heard the sermon in the first service, so we all knew what to expect. As he opened up he knew God had something so much more for these brothers and sisters in Christ. It was amazing to see God speak through him. God is amazing in how He can use someone to speak truth and convict into believers from a totally different life, culture, and language. At the end of the service people were invited forward for us to pray over if they are discouraged, needing healing, or just needed to experience the hope of the cross. As no one was approaching the front, the invitation was given again, and people just flocked to the front. As we went and prayed over these humble souls, it was amazing to feel the presence of the Lord so strongly. These Guatemalan believers were fervently praying, even though most of us had no idea what their need was, it was so incredible to have the privilege to pray for them.

Tuesday:

We are being bombarded with spiritual warfare here. Last night both our teams sat down and resolved many issues that had been causing tension. We all knew that Satan had been turning us against each other. We were having false impressions, assumptions, and opinions of each other and allow Satan to build upon them since we weren't addressing them. Clearly Satan knows we are a treat and that he is going to start having to pull out his best stuff to tear us apart. I woke up at 215am last night to go to the washroom and find one of the guys coming out of the washroom falling to the ground. He was having diarrhea which we all have been suffering from for about a week now. He was also vomiting repeatedly and his body was shaking. I went and got another one of the guys here and we sat and prayed for about 10 minutes. Finally I went and woke up out Squad Leader and the three of us continued to pray for about 30 minutes. With nothing getting any better, we went and woke up everyone else and all 12 of us prayed over our teammate until 4am. His body stopped shaking and he was able to stop vomiting but he was weak. Many of us started to see that this wasn't an illness, it was a spiritual attack. About 10 of us have been battling with diarrhea. Please join us in praying for protection from spiritual attacks and healing. We believe 100% that God is right here protecting us all, and we know we have only been able to go on each day with His strength. Also please pray for the Guatemalans we prayed over. That God will continue to send people into their lives to help them rise up into the callings He has on them.

Watch out Satan, because we aren't backing down!

Learning through the Tough Stuff

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Conflicts have always been something I have tried to avoid. I don't do well in those situations and really don't like to work through that "tough" stuff. However, they are unavoidable on this trip and something that needs to be constantly addressed. God has been teaching me soooo much through these situations. As I shared in the blog when I first arrived to Guatemala, God has been speaking to me a lot about not focusing on what others need to change, but how I can change to better handle a situation. As I was going through a touch day with conflict the next day I went to check my email and found this one from my dad. This pretty much summarizes what God has been laying on my heart ...

"Satan wants you to be defeated. He doesn't want you in a close relationship with God. He doesn't want you telling others the truths of the Bible. He doesn't want you to be united with other believers to engage in warfare against him. As a result, Satan will attack you where he believes that you are most vulnerable...Just remember that relationships have always been tough...Something that I have learned the hard way many times is that while Satan can't snatch us from the hand of God he can render us ineffective if we are not surrendered to the Lord. Commit any conflict to the Lord...don't allow Satan the victory. This is a great verse from 1st John 4:4&6 "Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world...we are of God." Little by little surrender those conflicts to God because He is greater than Satan and He alone will give you the victory over conflicts and Satan. Remember Jesus' victory cry when He was being tempted? "Get thee hence Satan!" Maybe "Get lost Satan" or "Drop dead Satan" because the power that I have within me is greater than anything that you can throw at me! Don't doubt why you are there, that is what Satan wants. Rest in the truth that the power within you is the greatest power in all the world. Through that power you can conquer any conflict, and trial, or any difficult time. You have the armour of God on your bedroom mirror. Put it on and then "having done all to stand!" Give Satan the fight that he deserves, stand firm and kick his butt in the name of the Lord. God will give you the victory. Never doubt...only believe."

News from Camotan, Guatemala

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This month I am working in Camotan, a small town near Chiquimulja, Guatemala. We joined together this month with another team. So we have 12 people at this site. We are broken down into three separate teams for the month and doing a rotation of ministries. One group is arranging school packages and delivering them to the village schools. A second team is working in a nursery helping to grow trees to assist the correction of the deforestation problem in this area. The last team is doing construction on a home in the area. Each team is doing their task for one week and then we are rotating. It is a good introduction for many of us into many various ministries. The first Sunday here we attended the morning church on the compound we are staying at. In the evening we went to a church in the next town over, Jocotan, and were a part of their service by performing worship songs in Spanish, two people gave their testimonies and a group performed a drama on God's love.

Learning to live in community with everyone has been a very stretching experience for me. This is unlike any community atmosphere I have been in before. Here I am placed in a group with most people I would never choose to be friends with prior to this trip. We are to become family. I don't know much about their backgrounds, how God has wired them, what they like, or don't. All I know is that I need to love these people unconditionally. I need to put these people before myself. I need to serve them even when I'm exhausted and just want to rest. This is going to be a continual learning process for me over the year, especially when we get even more exhausted and when conflict arises.

God has been speaking to me a lot about His creation. When we say creation most people think of nature around us, but He has more been speaking about His creation of His children. We are so quick to judge others, especially woman fall into this trap. We immediately categorize ourselves against other woman subconsciously. Why do we see each other as a threat? Why do we need to feel at competition with other woman? God has made us uniquely different to expression His creativity. He also put us into community living so that we are in the position to rely on others to do God's work more effectively.

I'm learning to rest in the woman that God has created ME to be. Not comparing myself to any of the other woman of god that He has placed into my life this year. God is delighted with who I am. This is something that is going to take time to really sink in, but I am going to continue to tell myself this truth. My King and Lord just wants me to be me. He doesn't wish for anything else for me other than for me to be satisfied in what He has blessed me with and to use it for His glory and praise. It's so amazing to have the pressure to perform taken off of us. I am so thankful that God doesn't care about WHAT we do, but rather just our HEART in doing it!

**sorry no pictures because the internet connection is too slow :)**

Hello from Guatemala

Thu, 4 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

WOW ... what a crazy journey already. I left home at 10am on Saturday morning and arrived into Panajachel, Guatemala at 5pm local time. All together I was travelling 33 hours before my final destination. Really haven't caught up on sleep, but I'm still getting through the days. We are staying at a hotel with beds and hot water, PRAISE THE LORD!

Before I left for the race my dad reminded me to leave the past in the past and just to live in where God has me for the moment. That God will take care of what I have left back at home and that He cares about those relationships and situation WAY more than I ever could. This has been said over and over once getting into Guatemala also. So as I sort through everything I'm thinking, feeling, seeing, etc, I am just trying to focus on what God wants to do this week.

I will admit that this week has already been trying, but I am going to keep going forward. Satan has already been trying to make me question why I am here, which I know I would NEVER have made it here without God 100% behind this. Also Satan was making me get frustrated at teammates, and I start to think that they need to change this or change that. God immediately lays it on my heart, that I don't need to be concerned with what THEY need to change, but I need to focus on how God can change ME to better deal with the situation!

Also God has been dealing with my desire to control. He is showing me that I have always told him how I want this or that to happen instead of allowing Him to show me how to be His daughter. So as I learn that I just have to be, instead of striving to be good enough or to earn any of this, I just need to rest in the fact that I am already pleasing in His eyes.

I am leaving Saturday for the central eastern border of Guatemala, near Honduras. Please pray for our team as we travel and step into our first month of ministry!

And So It Begins...

Fri, 29 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

...a completely new stage in life.

Different atmosphere, different surroundings, different responsibility,

But one step closer to what is most important.

Furthering God's Kingdom!

This past month has been incredible.

The ways I have seen the Lord move have made my jaw drop.

The people He has placed into my life,

the genuine love, encouragement and support they have given me.

No words can express my deep appreciation for everyone.

You have all been SUCH a blessing in my life.

I was driving home tonight,

thinking about how I just said goodbye to a family that I have become a part of.

I was thinking why I am leaving all these people that I love and that love me.

I had a Jeremy Camp cd playing and these lyrics came on ...

Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

And it's so true. Yes I love these people and want to be surrounded by them,

But the calling of God is so much greater.

I am willing to give up all of this for God's work.

I have never really got attached to material things of this world,

But God is showing me that I get attached to the people and relationships in my life.

This is not a bad thing.

I value the relationships in my life the most.

I will put effort into these and do anything for them to grow,

But they can't come between what God is calling me to do.

So as much as it breaks my heart to leave these people for a year,

I am stepping out and chasing after God's calling in my life.

I know these people will still be here when I return,

But it's scary leaving this atmosphere of love,

And jumping into the unknown!

I am so blessed and thankful for the people back home who are standing beside me this year.

The ones supporting me, encouraging me, praying for me, emailing me.

It's those people that will help me to continue to look to God on the hard days!

So thank you!

As I step out in faith into what God is asking me to do,

know that you all have helped me much more than you will ever know with this process.

So please follow me this year through my blog.

STOP ... & Think

Tue, 19 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Have you ever stopped and wondered why we do certain things? I have been pondering these very things for a while now, but mostly as of late. It's not as if the things we do are bad or destructive or hurtful, but why do we do them? Society has such a powerful influence over us to dictate what we should do without us even really considering all the reasons we are doing something. We have all fallen into the trap in one way or another. As I travel more I have seen that deep down humans are all intrinsically the same, including the majority of our societal pressures. Yes, some of what society encourages us to do is good (ie. Education, job, family). Even though these are positive, if they aren't used to advance the Kingdom and to proclaim the name of God, then what is the point? If we aren't using every method God has placed in our life to share about His love, what is the purpose?

As I look back on many of my missed opportunities I have learned so much. God has been challenging me to do EVERYTHING for His glory, down to the smallest thing. It's not about WHAT I do, but my HEART in doing it! So as I step out into His service, I don't want it to become about the many things I can DO for God, but I want it to all be about my HEART in doing His work!!

Answering the Call...

Fri, 15 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Everything I need is at my finger tips. The problem on earth isn't the economy, our government, the law, or anything else. The problem is with you and me. Jesus has already paved the way to repair our problems, but

why do we choose to live in a broke state?!? I think it comes down to that fact that we don't fully understand that kind of love. So instead of allowing God to show us, we simply think it's unrealistic and tend to think of it as a fairy tale idea and shove it to the side. We don't understand that it is within our reach. We have all the potential to love like Jesus right before us, but we also have all the potential to be filled with hate. We must choose to keep our focus on Christ and on the cross. This seems like such an easy concept. To truly live in this way, is to do something that we are already utterly exhausted of. Doesn't seem like an obtainable task eh? On our own strength is most definitely is impossible, but thankfully we don't have to do anything on our own strength.

If we go to the doctor to get medicine to cure a sickness, we can't just stop there. We must take the medicine in order for us to be healthy again. In the same way, Christ has provided us with the cure for everything, but until we begin to use it, and to also tell others about it, it's useless.

So it's time. We are called to go! We need to tell others about His love. We need to decide if we are going to sacrifice our lives so that God can bring change to this world. God can and will bring people out of darkness and into the light. We are his messengers; He uses us, what a privilege! Do you want to be a part of it?

So now is the time, each second for me to choose if my hands and feet will be for Jesus or for the world. I don't want to just know about God's love. I want to experience God's love. I want it all to sink from my head into my heart. I want God's love to saturate me, to overflow so that whoever I come in contact with will experience this same love.The world is seeking for something to fill their constant void. So please HELP me go and tell them about this amazing LOVE!

Hunger

Mon, 4 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Many Christians, especially in North America, are extremely malnourished. We are weak vessels because we chase after what is not satisfying. With our lack of nourishment, we have nothing to offer anyone. We can't fully comprehend how much of God's presence is available for us. We need to get to the point of realising that we need the presence of God more than anything else. God is seeking out those who are hungry for Him, so that He may fill them and allow that to overflow and feed nations.

I have been asking myself how hungry I truly am. We all know the verse that man cannot live by bread alone, but only by the word of God. We know the words, but do we really believe deep in our heart that meaning? Are we willing to make seeking the face of God our first and foremost priority in life? Do we feel the void when God is not first? Or have we become numb by filling it with the many temporary fillers of this world?

Leeland has a song, called "Reaching" here are some of the lyrics:

...We seek all You are

...We're leaping over walls to get to You

...We're caught up in this hunger searching for Your heart

...We're breaking off our chains to run to You

Once we can see that the only thing that matters is the presence of the Lord, nations will change, this world will change. God loves these people. When are we going to allow Him to use us to love them? There are people desperately seeking out Jesus, but there is no one to tell them about Him. What are we living our lives for? Are we living them solely to advance the Kingdom of God?

First Love

Sat, 2 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

To be quite honest I never felt much of a burden on my heart for ministry in my own country. I still feel very strongly about overseas ministry, but God is breaking my heart for the lost here also. As I read about ministries overseas and people's utmost passion for Jesus my heart gets excited. They have such an extremity to know Jesus because He is their only hope. They can do only one thing; cry out with every ounce of life remaining in their soul. Their life on earth has been cruel, and they look for relief anywhere but in the Creator and Redeemer. Once the Holy Spirit grabs a hold of these people they are sold out, because they have nothing else. I am seeing the severity of the condition of North America. We have lost our first love.

Revelation 2:4-5

"But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first."

We can become much too COMFORTABLE in our society. It's easy to know God, but not really need Him. This is such a trap and snare of the devil.

Everywhere we look we have pressure in society of what is supposed to be. We are all supposed to have the latest trendy clothes, a nice car, a sophisticatedly decorated house, a secure job with a big salary and benefits, etc. Is it wrong to have any of these things, in and of themselves, no. The more I stop and think about WHY we do something, the more I have to think of the true reasons. To be honest, a lot of times I find myself doing things more out of habit because of society. I have become too accustom to the "norms."

So this is the point of where I need to now decide. Am I okay with never having any of these things for the sake of Christ? Honestly, how many comforts do I cling to without even realising it? There are so many things that run through my mind about what is truly necessarily. Sometimes I have missed it. I have fallen into buying things or doing something because it was just the thing to do. Thankfully God's grace never fails! He is teaching me that is does not matter if I have those things or if I do not. ALL that matters is that His is my focus, my love, my King and my Abba!

So I will continue to strive for Him as my number one. I know the distractions will continue to come. Many of them may not even be bad in and of themselves (ie. ministry, friendships, serving), but these are not my purpose on earth. I need to realise that without God's love filling me, I have nothing to offer the hungry child, the desperate mum, or the drunken man. My purpose is to fall more deeply in love with my heavenly Father, to bring Him praise and worship through everything, and to glorify and honour His name alone!